Although it started off somewhat gloomy, it evolved into a beautiful day for a discussion of "The Wedding" by Dorothy West", hosted by Maria at Moxie's.!
Since this is the month of love (gush, gush); Maria adorned the tables with heart shaped boxes of Stover's candies for members and guests to enjoy as parting gifts. Maria began by welcoming everyone and asking Val to read our incoming mail. After reading our various Holiday, and thank you cards (that were so kindly written), JayBee
introduced her guests and acknowledged that this was Sharon's 10th meeting while
presenting her with an U.S. G..I.R.L.S.
T-Shirt. Sharon immediately "donned" the shirt to lounge in when she arrived home, and snapped this selfie for us.
Maria started the discussion with interracial relationships and the generational views of our parents. Roz was very vocal with regards to her Mother's preference for her children to date and marry within their race. Roz explained that her mother's strong convictions were the direct result of a childhood experience. Roz however, has a different perspective when it comes to her unmarried daughters. She made it very clear that she does NOT CARE what ethnicity the suitors are, as long as they are "marriage material" (Roz wants more grandchildren). Twilla, Maria and Sharron had similar stories when it came to their sons and dating/marrying. It was apparent that shadism and colorism was a deciding factor with many of a the book club member's sons selecting a mate.
Maria brought up the topic of the hues of the African-Americans in the tiny enclave of the Oval and if shadism every impacted our lives. Dee drew upon an example that she had in high school where a classmate stated that she was the darkest child in her family. JayBee mentioned that the complexities or colorisim or shadeism, although more subtle, still exist today among African-Americans. It is not just the shade of one's skin, but also the texture and length of hair. There were several real life situations discussed between members and guests.
As an ethnicity, when will this generational madness stop. There are some newfound examples where colorism/shadeism is toward the darker hue, and this is the preference. This growing trend is welcomed and is reminiscent of the "Black is Beautiful" and "Say it Loud" movements of the 60's. This resurgence is quite refreshing
This topic could have been discussed for hours, but we had to move on to the other 12 questions.
As our entrees were arriving, JayBee suggested that Lute's character, may have been suffering from "Racial (Mandingo) Fetishism" . This theory suggests that a person belonging to a racial ethnicity has a strong preference for dating or marrying exclusively outside of his/her race. For Lute, this desire may have been fostered from the history of our ancestors not being able to date, or even look at an Anglo women, for fear of punishment. Theoretically speaking, Lute would conquer these women, marry them (he did not want children born out of wedlock); and then treat them badly. Just as our ancestors had been treated.
Valerie mentioned that because Lute was abandoned by his mother as a child; he may have had a special disdain for women. We all agreed that Lute was an excellent father and provider for his girls, but we all agreed with Valerie's assessment that Lute need professional help.
When discussing our memorable "descriptive" scenes, it was quite interesting to hear the comparing and contrasting between the novel and the 1998 miniseries, produced by Oprah. Some of the most memorable scenes were Shelby getting lost in the woods, Corrine collecting rent, Shelby, Meade and Lute in the Jazz Club, Tina getting hit by the car and ANY scene with Gram (tee hee, she was a piece of work).
We discussed infidelities in the book and how they impacted the dynamics of the
marriages. Many of the couples were not sleeping together, which brought up the topic of the importance or "non-importance" of sex in the marriage. Liz mentioned to Shelby that she could not have married a man not knowing if he could satisfy her sexually. The question of what is important in a marriage was brought to the forefront, and the responses were similar. Communication is very important, however if the intimacy is lacking, that could be a disaster. Jackie, Sharron and First Lady, Dianne all stated some valid positions. Shelby's short lived curiosity about Lute could have been a result of the pondering questions from her family regarding her decision to marry outside of her race.
Several members had not viewed the series when it originally aired in 1998, so earlier in the week, JayBee located it on YouTube and Emailed to everyone. Those who viewed appreciated the movie as it capsulized some of the information in the book and made it easier to follow the lineage of the Shelby's and the Coles'. Several members appreciated the ending of the movie vs. the book.
After the discussion, JayBee introduced author, Katherin Garland to discuss her contribution to the book, "All The Women in My Family Sing" that was recently featured in Essence Magazine. Katherin also recanted the experience she had of locating and meeting her biological father just a few short weeks ago.
We are beginning a new segment, suggested by Roz, where members mention books they recently read that they either enjoyed or "Hated It". JayBee began with "The Wedding Date" by Jasmine Guillory (Hated It!!). Roz mentioned author Nia Forrester and recommended ANY book that she has written as an excellent read and Karen recommended "Raisins In Milk" by David Covin as one she is reading where the beginning is set in Florida and is very good.
Maria surprised me with a presentation of a LOVELY floral bouquet as a "Thank You" for being the book club's "Web-Woman". What a thoughtful gesture of appreciation that was not necessary, but very much appreciated!!!
Thank you, Maria for taking us back in time to Martha's Vineyard where we experienced the "Old Guard" of the African-American bourgeoisie through the novel of one of the greatest writers of the Harlem Renaissance, Dorothy West.
