Normally, we take a summer break from our book club schedule in June, however this year we received a generous Mimi's Cafe gift card from author, Mark Griffis for "Beta" reading his debut novel, so we voted during our February meeting to use this gift card during our summer break. At Valerie's suggestion we agreed to also take this opportunity to review The Unhappy Wife, written by our guest author,
Dr. K.E. Garland.
JayBee opened up the meeting with the introduction of guests and a blessing over the
meeting and meal. She also presented everyone with Trinket Boxes. Although they were all beautiful, she gave the individuals who wrote Amazon reviews the opportunity of selecting their boxes first.
We "jumped" right into our discussion with Katherin revealing her methodology for writing her book as well as her inspiration.
Each member and guest was assigned a chapter/wife to present a synopsis; and ask one thought provoking questions. Due to the number of chapters, and anticipating riveting conversations, everyone was limited to 8 minutes (I knew that wasn't going to happen) give or take a few seconds, which would put us roughly at 96 minutes for discussion.
Ready, Set...GO!!
The Unhappy Wife is divided into three parts; Part I -The Voiceless Wife, Part II -The Detached Wife, and Part III -The Committed Wife. Each Part has 3 or 4 chapters with resounding themes of women in relationship - mainly dysfunctional ones.
PART I: The Voiceless Wife
Author, Katherin began our discussion with Jasmyne and gave us some of the "back story" regarding this couple; their relationship with the church and the "glamour" of the wedding ritual. Are couples marrying for the right reasons? Is the wedding ceremony more important to some couples than the actual marriage?
"Gina" who was assigned to Ka Saundra was a "fan" favorite primarily because she "got out" of the situation after observing numerous signs. Her mate (for lack of a better title) exemplified signs of violence and jealousy (even pet jealousy). Because the type of violence he exemplified left collateral damage, many of us felt an empathy for Gina that reached deep into our souls.
Kim's chapter focused on Mother/Son relationships and how they "may" change after marriage. Kim touched on several aspects of this relationship and even wondered if there was possibly some underlying incesteous behavior here....(hummm, that is an interesting observation, Kim); JayBee's chapter, Thom, focused on how relationships and marriages differ culturally, particularly in the Asian community.
Next, Valerie had the task to evaluating "Lesa" and the topic of "emotional" cheating vs physical cheating, which broached the question: "Is sexting considered an affair?" Oh boy, Pandora's box took a minute to open, but nevertheless, it is open! We all had different opinions of cheating when it came to interacting with a person outside of the marriage. However the driving assumption in this chapter was the first sentence..."I had cheated before." This simple sentence let the reader know that the "intent" and "desire" (which are 2 driving forces of infidelity) may have been there. Many members and guests felt the husband in this chapter lacked motivation and ambition and should have realized early on that "Lesa" was not receiving the emotional support she needed.
Dee's chapter took the topic of infertility and how it impacts marriage when the infertile party is the male. Would or could you remain in a marriage if your dream of a biological family were destroyed because the husband or wife were unable to produce a child? There were mixed views on this subject.
PART II: The Detached Wife
Guest, Lisa was charged with one of the longest of the vignettes, Rhadiya. This chapter was riddled with infidelity, illegitimate children and repetitive bad behavior and poor choices. It took an act of domestic violence to convince her to finally end the marriage. Celeste looked at the case of Miss Sharlene which ultimately led to her very profound question, "Do you know of any individuals or couples that are wearing masks to camouflage their true identities?" Natalie and JayBee shared a story of a couple they suspected of wearing masks, and it was later confirmed when the husband murdered his wife, Linda right here in the River City in 2003. It was a tragic end once the masks were removed from what appeared to be an "over-the-top" storybook relationship.
Natalie, in Roz' absence discussed Pamela who never seemed to be in charge of her life. Yet again, texting, social media and interactions with an acquaintance outside of the marriage are addressed as a form of infidelity.
At 12:45 "The Real Gina" called into our meeting to shed some light on her story and answer questions regarding her current status. It was interesting to actually "hear" the voice of one of the characters of the book and to try to feel her emotions through the phone.
PART III: The Committed Wife
Sharron's chapter, Darlene focused on marriage and the rules of the church. Everyone had input into this chapter because we felt Darlene remained in her marriage because of her commitment to her husband/pastor. Should there be a separation between church and marriage? How do you define "dutiful" when it comes to marriage? These looming questions made this topic very controversial. It was determined that the pastor wanted someone to simply help increase his church membership, not a life partner. Celeste said what everyone was thinking..."It was time for him to go and he did Darlene a favor by leaving."
Jackie discussed Crystal, her relationship and how the strength of the child who observed her father's drug addiction and bad habits, helped to lead him to rehabilitation and on the path to recovery and corrective action.
In Dianne's absence, author Kathrin Garland wrapped up our session with Veda's happy ending and a reveal of "Her" identity in the book. After some members and guests gasped in surprise, Katherin shared some of her story with us and how her marriage has grown into a happy, healthy relationship.
After the meeting, guest author, Dearsha D. Johnson arrived to tell us about her "Frontier Girls" book series. This Christian based book series for teens and pre-teens was written to be both empowering and motivational.
Dearsha read an except from one of the chapters, and just as we were captivated, she stopped, so we were grateful that she brought books along for us to purchase.
After she autographed our copies, we presented her with an U.S. G.I.R.L.S. signature mug to thank her for attending. It is always nice to meet new authors in our local community and assist in promoting through social media.
It was very enlightening and insightful to engage in a discussion about marriage and relationships during a book club meeting. We could have discussed these topics for hours. I know each of us knows a woman that is in a new relationship and could benefit from reading this book.
A special "Thank You" to Dr. K.E. Garland for bringing these real life stories to the attention of U.S. G.I.R.L.S. and guests. We will remember the voices of these unhappy wives and the messages they conveyed. We wish each one of them love, blessings and happiness.
